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the trail has been lost

by Dick Nixon Arisen

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1.
we could die beneath these trees where all my lovers sleep so sweet draped in bows, crowned in wreaths, tied in ribbons, one two three, we could all die, beneath these trees, where our tomorrows and presents meet in drawn breaths, so soft and sweet, forgiven forgiven, no blood on me, underneath the trees, give me heat bluebells and starlight, give me sleep, drowned in dew, wet my feet, dry my teardrops and never leave
2.
you wouldn't like me when I'm angry who likes anybody when they're angry you wouldn't love me when I was ugly who loves anybody when they're ugly? you can come along in fact that would be great and if it's feeling wrong you don't have to stay out ...late you wouldn't come to me when I was suffering who wants to see somebody when they're suffering you wouldn't heal me when I was bleeding who wants to clean up blood on the ceiling but you can come with me in fact that would be fine and if you're feeling free you could drink a little wine why are we here, I don't know no reason and I don't know anyone named jesus but I know I want you for a sunbeam and I think i could love you when you're ugly you can come inside in fact that would be nice and if you're feeling spry we could take a tumble twice
3.
hold hands in the dark get up for the cat don't break my heart cause I wouldn't like that don't leave me now that we've come this far foam-cleaving prow be my constant star
4.
how many angels do you want, right now? How many angels do you need, to fall down? And when they fall, to break and bleed, attempt to crawl, and try to speak... how many children do you want, from me? How many children do you need, honey? And when they crack, and when they cry, beneath a black and sullen sky, parents see portents and signs in the sky. The neglected orphans know it's pointless to cry...
5.
blood of my blood a red red rose means love mark of the sailor's pride crossed anchors in the tide star of my heart bleeding doves mean lovers part carving through the foam the stars will guide me home heart, club, diamond, spade for lovers in the grave four points of a compass rose life spent not in repose every dog will have his day but the water has her way apple of my eye your storm is in my sky
6.
7.
There's a wild rose off of woodland grove; where god only knows and there's no god so no one knows
8.
Bird Song 01:20
I am your doomed sparrow pierced by stray arrow in this field lain fallow for three seasons gone by. I am your ill-fated eagle pressed by questions of evil; I guess it's just the way of people to bring a tear to my eye I am your grief-stricken goshawk felled by a blonde boy's tossed rock in this sheltered cove off of Montauk for three seasons gone bye goodbye my love I spiral down from above and curse the hollow bones that left you all alone I am your star-crossed starling my hollow heart is yours my darling and I will be there in the morning though the well has run dry
9.
River Song 02:07
Baptized by raindrops; can I keep swimming in your river til the pain stops? Sunday school, 1982, it's all skatin' and satan from here on out... cool. Carnal benediction, I love to slide my dick inside and feel the friction, and I do love you. Summer send me a rainstorm, puddle skippin, i'll be dripping but I'll stay warm. No suicide, no, not today. It's much too bright to blow my brains out with a twelve-gauge. No suicide, no, not today. I'll be looking out the window waiting for the rain. No suicide, no, not today. I'll be looking out the window waiting for your face. And I do love you.
10.
Blue Sky 02:40
Blue Sky, green leaves, you'll die if you don't breathe so come back to me or just stay where you wanna be, it don't really matter at all. Grey sky, no leaves, hey guys, we should all grieve for the burning wheat fields and mutilated meat shields. Clothed in ashes we crawl.
11.
i ate raspberries from the graveyard nearly every year of my life and no matter for how long or what i gazed at i never had a touch of second sight so you can throw away my silver ravenwulf you can throw away this chintzy knife and while you're at it, take castaneda, and while you're at it, take jesus christ.
12.
Maddie 01:35
Maddie hand down my old banjo, I wanna hear my children play maddie hand down my old pistol, i'm gonna shoot joe boot today. i'm gonna shoot joe boot in the dick for what he did to constance strickland but what if connie strickland lied and joe didn't try what she said he tried? Why revenge, what's the purpose, does it serve as a deterrent? Perhaps I should consult the clergy before I carry out my purging... Maddie hand down my old banjo, i'm gonna pick a funeral march, maddie fetch joe a pail of water his dying drying throat is parched maddie maddie it's the end of the world, all four horsemen's flags unfurled if I don't shoot joe right away it's gonna be too late on judgement day Why revenge, what's the purpose, does it serve as a deterrent? White sheet covers, eyes averted, call the hearse I am accursed.
13.
sunlight sunlight tell me your name I'll just sit right here and wait you're not interrupting anything I don't care if I end up late i'm late for dinner and late for the meeting i hope you're not late for your monthly bleeding
14.
Weekday rock 01:20
Monday is the day we cradle our heads wishing that we were home safe asleep in bed Tuesday is the day we cradle our hearts wishing we had said, something we haven't said Wednesday is the day we cradle our wounds, calling them by the names, of children we never had. Thursday is the day we polish the tombs, carving in the names, of parents we never had. But friday night is a night for dancing, calling me back home. Saturday is a day for new chances, transcendent chaos enthroned. and sunday's sober solemn silence bares bitter barbed blue bones.
15.
You are not mine but you're my cup of tea so I'll wait for a sign you feel something for me... You are not yours unless we truly own ourselves, are we born with a debt to fill the empty shelves? Don't ask me man, I don't know.
16.
The dragon 01:42
I came seeking peace. I came seeking rest but you keep telling my teeth about the skin of your breast. you leave me no voice having stolen my breath you give me no choice I am under arrest. You make me wanna do my taxes! buy some stamps and send some faxes so tell me tell me what the facts is between theory and praxis. piss on the mayor's lexus! you're so sexy move to texas! you make me wanna skip breakfast buy baby stroller on craigslist call me homo erectus not concave but convectus come and come and correct this with your lady lady sexness Above; below. New love, pillows. you make me wanna chop my dick dick off drink a couple cocktail molotov you make me wanna buy a football team run it into the ground now that's my dream you make me wanna bake a little microcake in my microbake in my microbake you make me wanna roll around in the mud job interview dressed up as a chud you make me wanna thunder thunder thud chew my own flesh and drink my own blood you make me wanna slay slay slay the dragon bring the corpse home radio flyer wagon
17.
I'm usually not attracted to african americans but once in a while I meet a girl that makes me think again i've always said that I have a thing for red hair as if the pigment in her protein... who really fucking cares i'm usually attracted to the ones that make the photograph D&D MIT puh puh puh polymath the rules for my health, i'm consecrated. the rules for myself, i fuckin break em. rules for my wealth, I don't speak that language... whirlwind girlfriend kiss her rear end buy her a beer glad I'm not queer if I was I would find an equally excellent boy but i'm not so I won't and I'm sticking to that story whirlwind girlfriend I'm gonna speak from deep in my psyche i see your face and i'm like mommababydaddybrothersisterdaddy likey I see your face and i'm like oh crikey I'm gonna speak from deep in my psyche I need love and I need rest I would like to sup of your breath
18.
Wedding Day 00:41
Today feels like my wedding day, what's a dust bowl ballad if there's pouring rain? Look at the stitches in my shoes and I notice they're frayed, try to do some good for you I hear myself say... today feels like my wedding day, but tomorrow I will be a divorcee...
19.
blood of my blood a red red rose means love mark of the sailor's pride crossed anchors in the tide star of my heart bleeding doves mean lovers part five points of my human hand the worm waits in the sand bone of my bone judas christ on a golden throne heart, club, diamond, spade for lovers in the grave four points of a compass rose life spent not in repose blood of my blood a red red rose means love every dog will have his day but the water has her way today's for desperate deeds and fire hidden in a reed storm in the sky today's a fine day to die blood of my blood a red, red rose means love
20.
Black black black no going back it's all gone they dropped the bomb remember me as I once was - not this fragile corpse lever-action on my lap, rocking on the porch Black black black no going back and all the green turns to machines
21.
Endless days 00:51
tried me, i tried you, false then and falser now. I can't find in you that cold spring to see me through but I will stay away from... in this haze of endless days, oh in this haze of endless, shapeless, formless, nameless days
22.
Huh? What's so bad about me? Right?
23.
The devil made marijuana so all my friends could sleep in dreams of syncopation brought on by the ganja weed I was never really listening in my anxiety I could smell the devil's swirling smoke but he never spoke to me the devil made marijuana, amplified that THC while his lesser generals spun in place and mouthed their obsequies the burning brazier swung in place in synchronicity but to live without that chemical was no obstacle to me
24.
no formal speeches, she gets undressed. Black-blooded leeches hang at her breast. No strays turned away on the coldest winter's day.
25.
oh oh oh oh oh pilgrim when they auctioned off the ox that killed him we went to the well where she hid the body he was still in there, ohhh, grody oh oh oh oh oh sailor when she was out sleeping with the tailor we went to the shed where she hid the weapon it was still in there when we crept in oh oh oh oh oh heaven been a long time since I seen kevin i wonder how that kid is doing and have his guns all lost their blueing oh oh oh oh oh shit been a long time since I seen matt i wonder what that kid is doing depends on the season by the bruins winter casts a frozen shade midterm make my day so gray sister sister won't you say I could see your lovely face because darling this night has opened my eyes and I think that a man's gotta cry sometimes and if 90's emo is what does it or just watching the game with your cousin forget it. you ask too much and constantly contradict yourself. this game is bad for my health. It is contraindicated.
26.
27.
Who owns who 01:56
they do what they want, until we do what they want, that's how its always been. all the places you used to haunt burned to the ground and been built back again. They do what they want until it becomes a law, that's how it's going to be. They call it eminent domain, manifest destiny, white man's burden, intellectual property. They call it patent law, shareholder's due, extraction industry. Useless, heartless, useless, vampire motherfuckers. Sea to shining sea.
28.
Chronometer 01:15
I don't propitiate no saints to get what I ain't got; I see no face hidden in the inkblot. I don't even know don't know is time passing, this chronometer's flow seems to go as slow as molasses I don't even know I don't know how to make sense rearrange the letters bat semen to basement
29.
They say he died nobly, impaled on a sliver of steel, and that I was the only child mentioned in the will. Well, they didn't know him; didn't know him at all. A tree takes a lot of growing before it's ready to fall. The milky way hung down, like a string of pearls - never seen such beauty anywhere in the world. The day we were married, fears and cares. White doves carried her up the stairs. While my mother wove a homespun woolen shawl, down came baby, cradle and all. Down came baby, baby mine. Now we're crazy all the time.
30.
Madeleine 02:12
The day that my first child was born I went out in a hornet swarm to buy a colt .45, d batteries and a bag of seeds. The sky was black the ground was black as black as black no turning back dead monkeys threw their stones at me, from the hypodermic trees. The day my second child was born, Madeleine kept her safe and warm, in the paper hornet's nest, in the hollow of her breast. I am your neck-hung albatross, I'm here to help you fathom loss I am your north star and your southern cross, you'll be home, bye and bye goodbye my love, I'll see you soon enough. Above the writhing foam, softly southward home. Maddie hand down my old banjo, I'm gonna hear my children play. Maddie I can't believe we made it through all that shit into these lovely days!

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sweet cherry TASTE son this album took me nearly a year to make. Getting old. old and tired

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released September 3, 2013

myself alone (but behind me my friends)

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Dick Nixon Arisen Connecticut

Out in the woods.

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